Big bear update
Wow, it's been almost 9 months since an update! SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED. We will do our best starting from September/October last year.
Big news was that GBear started a job at IBM. Yay! That was good. Bad news was that during a visit to Nancy-bear (NBear)'s office, he witnessed a suicide. An asian girl jumped off her balcony and GBear saw it happen. "She landed with a sickening thud", is what he tells those who ask. She fell 19 stories and bounced off the sidewalk then into some bushes, but that's not all. She landed right next to NBears office. NBear did not see it but she arrived 2 minutes later with a client, so she was affected and the office was closed most of the day with police tape someone captured video of it on their phone and gave it to her. NBear watched it 19 times to try and answer "why?". She wanted to know how anything could have gotten that bad that ending her life was the only way out.
A fairly stable month. GBear working at IBM in a rapid lab, making apps for a bank. The bank would ask IBM how they would solve a problem, and our job was to use IBM technologies to show how IBM would do it. Relations with NBear were very good and GBear was happy.
Another fairly stable month. NBear had her birthday on the 15th and relations were doing great. GBear was helping NBear with her business and NBear was helping GBear with just basic social needs, and all that kind of stuff. She was like a sister to him and everything was perfect. Her birthday party went well and she whispered to GBear at the end that she loved him.
Roughly around this time, NBear had some cosmetic surgery done and GBear was chosen to take her to the clinic and back. He was chosen to take care of her for the next 2 or 3 days as she would be in pain and need support. GBear organized her medications and did a great job when nobody else would. Things were going very well.
GBear gave NBear the ultimate gift for Christmas: his Christmas! He sacrificed his Chrismas so NBear would have a good one. He took care of NBears dogs during the holidays and barely visited his own family. There was an exchange of gifts which went well and both of them seemed happy. For GBear's 50th birthday, it was his best ever! It lasted 3 days! On the 30th, he went shopping with NBear at the mall and basically just hung out and helped her in the usual way. When it turned midnight, NBear surpised GBear with a nice card and a piece of cake! She even sang to him and got some of it on video. The next day, he got a nice haircut that NBear paid for then went home to spend the evening with his other good friend and neighbour, Sharla (aka SBear). GBear and SBear watched fireworks from his condo and it was great. GBear was so happy!
Another happy month. IBM job going well and relationships with NBear and SBear going well.
First part of this month was not bad. Second half was very bad. GBear wanted to do something special for NBear on Valentines day, so he gave her a dozen roses but not all at once. He gave them one at a time and left them on her bed in the morning starting from Feb 2nd. A rose per day from Feb 2 to Feb 14 would make a dozen. She doesn't like surprises much but it became common after a while until about the 5th rose she asked him to stop and that it was not necessary. On Feb 12th, she went to Ottawa for the weekend and left GBear in her place alone to take care of the dogs. When she got back, things turned very bad. GBear took her dogs out again while she was unpacking from the trip. During this, she found GBears phone and went snooping through it! She started reading his text messages to a friend. One of these messages was that it was awesome to give backrubs to a half-naked NBear at night and put her to sleep. She got upset and when GBear came back with the dogs, she was defensive and accused him of jerking off to naked pictures of her (which is untrue). If that didn't hurt enough, she gave him a promotion to be her personal assistant which he knew would never last because with that role, he could never be her friend. NBear won't allow her staff to cross the boundary into friendship and vice-versa. So, GBear came home upset and couldnt sleep that night. At 2:00am he got up, walked over to NBears place, used his keys to get in and left the keys there with a note saying that he quit and that she just pushed away her most loyal friend. He's barely seen or heard from her since.
GBear has an answer now for why that girl commited suicide back in September: it's an easy way out. With a little bit of pain, you can end a lot of future pain. Think of ripping of a bandaid... do you do it slowly or quickly?
March was terrible from losing NBear, and the IBM job ended early due to lack of funding in the lab and lack of iOS work to do. So much sadness and emptyness. GBear didn't just lose NBear, he lost the sister he always wanted and he did nothing wrong. NBear says she did it for independence and because she doesn't like anyone on her personal space. That's fine, but she didn't have to hurt GBear so much in the process.
So, GBear went on a trip to Colombia for a conference and took us along! First day was fine. We went with a girl named Roannie who we had met about a year or two previous at a party. Second day was terrible. At the conference, GBear left 2 bags of goods at a table for a short time. Fooh and I were in one bag. His laptop and other things were in the other. While he was gone, someone stole the other bag! We didn't see who did it. We were hidden but we think we heard it happen. When GBear got back, he frantically looked for the bag but it was gone. Security couldn't find it and the video footage of the area was useless. Major stress! Major stress because the laptop was gone, but also his wallet, his money, and his passport! With some frantic searching, he held us so tight. We were so glad we were not taken too.
GBear had to go to the Canadian embassy to get a new passport to get back home. Someone gave him $4 in taxi fare. The embassy helped a little but it was expensive. They would not give him money for food or hotel but GBear was able to supply credit card numbers by checking emails on a desktop PC at the embassy to order a new passport and get his flight back home adjusted because of the wait for a new passport. $150 for each of these things, it cost. He was allowed to call anyone in Canada for free so he called Nancy-bear. The embassy staff first dialed the phone and made sure it was her. She was full of questions at first like "Why is the Canadian embassy in Bogota Colombia calling me?!" and "Are you OK?!" and "What happened?!". After a 20-minute call, GBear felt much better talking to her. Plus, she promised to send $2000 for food and hotel with the promise that he have fun and get back safe as soon as possible. She really did good. She rescued him big time. She sent a wire transfer using Western Union which had to go to Roannie because GBear had no I.D. He used the money to go shopping and have fun but the trip was still terrible. Much thanks to Roannie for helping GBear with translation and so much more!
A fairly depressing month for GBear, indeed. He had to buy a new laptop and get new copies of all his ID. Without a job, most of his savings were blown. Time for a new job but he got an offer at Scotiabank on April 12 for 3 months for $70 an hour (a personal record). Visits from neighbour and friend Sharla help. GBear waits and suffers to hear from NBear every day.
Another very depressing month for GBear, still recovering from the loss of NBear mostly. The job helps. Visits from neighbour Sharla help. Fooh and I had our birthday on the 26th and we really wanted to meet with NBear and get our photo taken with her as a present to GBear. We couldn't get over there. Bears are not allowed in the office, but she did call and chat for a while and sing Happy Birthday to us what the caveat that GBear not do anything crazy. We think she's referring to the suicide in October that landed on her doorstep.
Another depressing month for GBear waiting for NBear to arrange a meeting to make things better. She occasioanally sends a text promising to want to meet and talk, but never sets up the meeting so GBear is left waiting.
The bank job has just ended so Fooh and I felt it was time to finally write an entry here. GBear still waiting for NBear to call and reach out to make things better. Doubt she ever will. Back in October, GBear hurt his leg on a trip to IKEA. A filing cabinet fell out of the truck when he opened the back door and it fell on his leg and left a big wound. NBear helped him with it and gave him a bottle of stuff that will make the scar go away. We wish NBear would help him with the scar she put on his heart. GBear has not been happy for months. NBear was very important to him. He was happy. He did anything for her and would drop plans to help her. Her loss has been tough. I wish he would come back to normal soon.
SharlaBear says he only "seemed" happy and that he spent so much time with her, that he neglected his own life and started to lose weight and looked terrible at times. I suppose that's true, but GBear finally knows now what it's like to give himself to someone fully and unconditionally. That's true love. He got a taste of what it's like to be with someone and he liked it. He learned that he's a good person and that if NBear doesn't want him around anymore, that's her problem. She has so many problems that GBear can help with but she doesn't want him anymore. She said she was vulnerable for a time and she let him in but that he will be the last one ever. How can someone say they will never let anyone into their home again? GBear didn't steal anything or take naked pictures of her. Many times, he could have taken advantage of her while she was passed out on the bed from sleeping pills. He had keys to her place, was trusted with passwords and her most precious dogs. He made a few mistakes but only with the best of intentions. He saw NBear at her worst and never complained or lashed out. He saw NBear do some rituals that are silly to most people but still he never used that as ammo against her. As teddy bears, Fooh and I see GBear all the time in places or sitations that may be embarassing but we never hurt him. We believe GBear is a teddy bear like us that will never hurt Nancy bear.
The future is going to be weird. 2015 was absolutely the year of Nancy. Readers of this blog have no idea how important she was to GBear during 2015. She had a mental breakdown and left him in May which was terrible but she reached out and let him back in. This year is becoming a year of recovery. What will happen? We think GBear will eventually be back to normal but he has scars now and has lost most of his desire to find someone else to be with. Roannie and Sharla help a lot, though. Kudos to them :-)
GBear just had a phone interview to work on an iPad that teaches music to kids. Hope he gets it!